Resident Curry
by ForsakenChibi
Summary: Resident Evil with a twist! A parody of the First Resident Evil game! What will happen to the S.T.A.R.S? And what does the butter chicken have to do with it all?
1. Chapter 1

**~Resident Curry~**

**Chris walked through the halls of the RPD, looking for Jill. He had something he wanted to show her. Even though she had only been a part of the RPD's STARS for a few weeks, he had already developed feelings for her. Chris stopped when he came to the RPD's curry machine. He ordered a butter chicken and walked on, peeling the lid off and starting to eat it. It was warm, and he loved the spicy Indian flavour. But he had not eaten breakfast; he awoke at 2:30 to get ready for the drive from New York. It was now 7:00. Chris checked his watch for the hundredth time, growing inpatient at the fact that he had arrived too early for the meeting. With nothing better to do, he walked upstairs to the STARS office to talk to Barry. Chris walked past the dark room, past the statue and into the STARS hall. He grabbed his key, but it didn't work! He still had part of his curry left, and he started to eat it again. He had always been told whenever he ate he ate nosily; and this was no exception. Soon, the STARS door flung open. "GOD CHRIS, DON'T EAT SO LOUD!" Barry yelled. The trick had worked. Chris smiled, and gave Barry a high 5. "CURRY!" Barry yelled. His wife was Indian and made the best curry ever. Soon, they had both started to eat curry, Barry eating lamb Rogan josh. Even though Chris had started first, Barry had several medals for the fastest eater ever. He had always loved spicy curry, and ate it very quickly. Somehow, he did it without any noise what so ever. Chris finished a few minutes afterwards. They smiled and gave each other another high 5. Chris looked at the door, and saw Jill walk through in a hurry. She did a really sweet smile, and Barry started to scream again. "CHRIS, SHE HAS CURRY!" He yelled, running into the STARS office after her. Chris smiled. This was going to be another fun day. Chris sat at his desk and looked at their captain, who was also slurping on curry and drinking on some coke. Wesker still had his sunglasses on, even though it was dark outside and that he was inside. "Wesker, sir, why do you always have the glasses on?**

**Well Chris, I'm afraid I may get curry in my eyes." Wesker said, putting his bowl down and standing up." Ok guys, I'm going to start the meeting now" Chris sat back, letting Wesker talk. "As you all know, there are a load of curry maniacs hiding in the Raccoon forest. I'm going to be sending in BRAVO team first, because if ALPHA went in, Barry would go nuts." Chris turned around to see Rebecca pale. "Rebecca, what's wrong?**

**I hate curry" She whispered to him. Chris went into shock. **_**A person that doesn't like curry in the STARS! At least she is in Bravo team….**_**Chris thought, turning back to Wesker. "Ok BRAVO, get your gear sorted and move out! Enrico, radio in when you have the boxes of curry!" Everybody look at Enrico, all looking serious. They all wanted the curry back. "Were counting on you guys!" Chris heard Jill say, and he gave Enrico a high five. "See ya' later Chris!" Enrico said, getting his gear together. Chris sat back, looking at Jill. He felt a blush coming on, so he grabbed his favourite knife and started to clean it. He saw Barry take out his .357 Colt Python, and clean that also. Jill started to look though her desk for her lock picks, and Brad sat at the communication desk. "Ok guys, I'm going to get some curry. Anybody want some?**

**YES!" Everybody said. He smiled and walked out, wanting to get some curry and fresh air. The STARS office was far to crowded for his tastes. **

**Chris walked back to the STARS office, carrying 2 massive boxes of curry. He opened the door and Wesker was talking to Brad. "Chris, get that curry to the helicopter ASAP! Bravo has crashed and we need to find them! Jill, get we guns; as much as you can get! Barry, help Jill! Get to the roof in 5 or you're not coming! That's an order!" Chris was stunned. Wesker was getting pretty serious! Chris obeyed his orders and got to the roof, and started loading the 'chopper with curry. He said a prayer for Enrico. He prayed that he could find the curry before they got there. He also hopped they were safe. And he said a prayer for the curry; he didn't want butter chicken pants, and he would be on clean up if it went everywhere. On the way back, Chris was going to take Jill out to a curry restaurant. He smiled at this, and saw Wesker casually walking up to the 'chopper. He saw Brad walking behind him, pale but still willing. Chris got in and Helped Jill up, smiled at her and she sat next to him. This was going to be easy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**RESIDENT CURRY**

**WELCOME TO THE CURRY HOUSE OF HELL!**

**Chris looked out of his window, trying to find the missing helicopter and hoping that the curry was safe. Chris turned to Jill, who was handing out the curry. He smiled and started to stuff it down. Then he heard Wesker's voice over the intercom, as he was the only person with a headset, well apart from Brad. "CHRIS, SHUT UP AND EAT QUIETLY!" Wesker rarely got angry. Chris just tried to eat more quietly, and actually succeeded in this. He looked at Jill again, and she smiled at him, and he was certain he saw her blow him a kiss. It was something to ask about later. Then Brad's voice came over the loud speakers. "Thank you for flying curry airway, we will be stopping shortly. Our beloved captain has spotted the other curry airways 'chopper and we will be stopping soon. Please buckle up and I hope you had a good flight.**

**Ok, Jill, get those weapons out! Everybody get ready for anything!" Jill handed Chris a berretta with 2 clips, and got some for herself. Barry of course had his beloved Colt Python. Chris put his IPod on. Sadly, it was blue toothed to the helicopter. He put it on shuffle, and it went to Ken Kanif. "Oh yeah, oh shaggy, oh suck it down!" Chris blushed and turned it off. Every single person in the helicopter, including Wesker and Brad (he took his eyes off the sky; he was a very bad driver) and looked at Chris. He just looked at his legs. Barry was the first to talk. "I SMELL THE CURRY!" he yelled, and everybody got ready to jump. Brad landed and everybody got out in single file. Chris checked his handgun, and got into his position. He was point man, so he went first. Jill was behind him, Wesker behind her and Barry taking the rear. Brad stayed in the helicopter. "Chris, if you see the curry, here is the code word. BARRY!**

**Yes sir!**

**No, that's the code word, dumbass!" Chris nodded to Wesker and started walking. It took them a while to reach the other helicopter, and Chris was getting worried that the curry was getting cold. When they reached the helicopter, nobody was there. No curry, and no BRAVO team. Chris sighed.**

**Jill looked, trying to find out where they had gone. "Team, 5 meter spread! If you see a bowl of curry, you know the key word!" Wesker ordered. Jill raised her berretta and walked forwards, and saw something in the ground. When she saw it, she screamed. It was a hand, holding a gun. Everybody ran over to her. Joseph walked over to it, and jumped backwards. Then, he turned and screamed. At first Jill didn't know what was happening; all she saw was blood and curry. Someone screamed out "BARRY" but she didn't know who. Jill started to shoot, and then the things turned to her. It looked like a dog that had been out in the sun without any skin. It lunged at her, and then she ran empty. She turned to run-**

**And Chris shot the dog, smiling at her. Then they all started to run for the 'chopper. Then they saw something they didn't want to. Brad had turned tail and ran; the helicopter flying off into the distance. "No! Don't go! That's our curry!" Chris said, as Wesker and Barry started to shoot once more. "Chris, get to that house!" They all started run, Jill pumping her arms for extra speed. She was the first to the door, smashing it open with her shoulder. She cursed to herself and fell, Chris jumping over her and dragging her away like a paedophile as Wesker and Barry ran in, slamming the door shut and putting a curry machine in front of it. "Wow… what a mansion!" Barry said, looking around. "Jill, I want you to go and find some curry; clearly this house is the curry house that has been abandoned for months.**

**I'm going with her!" Barry said, nodding and looking serious. "Curry is my favourite food, 'ya know?**

**Ok, Chris, you go and look around upstairs. I will stay and secure this area, in case I find some hidden curry." Jill walked towards the door that Wesker had pointed to, Barry in close pursuit. "Hey Jill, after this, we are SO eating some lamb Rogan josh!" Barry said, making Jill laugh. She opened the door, and was stunned by how the room was set out. It was a dining room, with a very long wooden table and curry at each spot, along with some water. Barry couldn't hide his delight. "Jill!" He said, whilst stuffing curry into his mouth. "Go on ahead; I will keep this area secure." Jill nodded, grabbing some tandoori chicken on the way out. She found a door at the end. She also saw some curry on the floor. "Barry! Someone has spilt curry over here!**

**I hope it's not butter chicken" He said with a mouth full of curry. Jill just shook her head and walked on. She opened a door into a large hallway, not as long as the dining hall but still long. She had 2 ways to go; to the left, were it curved around a corner, or the right and to the doors. She decided that she would go right, and see if any doors were unlocked, and if so, had curry in them. Sadly, all the doors were locked. But, one of them had a symbol on it; Jill couldn't read it since the hall was so dark. She walked backwards and down to the other side of the hall, and then she gasped. A thing – it looked like a human – was eating another human. And it had a bowl of STARS curry next to it. The thing moved its head and Jill recognised the person. It was Kenneth from BRAVO team. He had obliviously stopped for some curry, and had been attacked. Jill walked backwards, and the thing then turned to her. **_**Oh my god, run Jill, run! **_**It was her father talking to her. They had both been thief's, acting as a sort of Robin Hood. Jill's father was in jail, but she had managed to escape. Then she turned to another line of work. The STARS offered her this. Her father was a navy commander, and he always spoke like one. This was no exception. Jill turned, and ran back to the dining hall, smashing through the door and sliding across the curry. She sliped and fell, and Barry ran over to her, still holding a bowl of butter chicken. "Jill, what is-" Barry was cut short as the thing walked into the room. "Barry! It's a curry fanatic! Shoot!" Barry wasted no time. He put his bowl of curry down on the table, lined up his Colt Python and fired 3 times. As it came down, barry sidestepped and some blood got over Jill. "What is it!**

**A curry fanatic. Kenneth was killed to; hey Barry, let's report this to Wesker!" Barry nodded, helping her up. Then he holstered his gun and picked up 2 bowls of curry. They both jogged back to the main hall. Jill opened the door (Barry was too preoccupied with the curry) and she walked into the main hall once more. Then it felt like a joke that had been run dry.**

**The captain was no-where to be seen.**

"**WESKER! I HAVE SOME CURRY!" Barry yelled, looking around. "Help me look for him Jill! And don't leave this hall for the time being!" Jill nodded. She walked around the hall, behind the stairs. He was no-where. "Any luck Jill?**

**No, I can't figure this out at all. Why has Wesker gone and disappeared? I can't figure it out…**

**Oh well, I don't think it could be helped" Barry put down a bowl of curry. "Here Jill, I think that you, the master of unlocking curry houses, should take this with you" Barry saw Jill smile; it was her old lock pick set. She had given some to him so he could practice with them. Now she was glad she had given them to him. "Thank you, maybe I will need them" Jill said, taking them out of his hand. "Jill this house is huge. We could easily get lost. Let's start from the first floor up, ok?" Jill nodded her head. "I'm going back to the dining hall to eat- I mean to look at that curry fanatic again. You search that door over there!" He pointed to a big, massive set of double doors. "Yes, ok. Watch you're back Barry!**

**Yeah, yeah." He said, jogging over to the dining hall. With a sigh, she walked over to the doors, and with a solid push, she walked in.**

**Chris was stunned. He had opened a door upstairs, and when he had gone back to the hall after hearing Jill and Barry yelling (It sounded like they had curry!) He had jogged back. However, the captain, along with Barry and Jill, were not there. He sighed, walking over the banister. He looked over, and saw a bowl of curry left on the ground. **_**That must be for the captain **_**Chris thought, a little bit of saliva hanging out of his mouth. He turned around and walked back into the hall he had just come from; it was long and red, with loads of doors on each side. He had only tried 1 before he had heard the shouting. That was at the far end of the hall. With all of his clothes and gun, ammo and his knife, he could only manage a jog, considering he was also out of breath from running away from the things outside. He tried the first door he came to this time; it was on the right side of the hall, and it had some sort of symbol underneath. He sighed. He then tried the next one; this was a set of double doors, each metal. Again, these also had strange locks on them.**_** If this is the curry fanatic's house, then behind the locked doors must be curry! **_**Chris thought, getting exited. **_**Or it could be a trap, one that may cost you your life, Redfield. Remember that. **_**Chris sighed. His old US Air force teacher had told him that. He had wanted to do an Arial stunt, and his teacher had told him that. He took what he said with pride, and whenever he did something, his teacher would always tell him another quote. He walked on, and he tried the next door, expecting it to be locked. He pushed really hard, and stumbled when the door gave way! He looked around the room, surprised. It was a reddish brown. It had some desks, a few tables and, most importantly, a lighter! Chris went to pick it up, but instead laughed at himself. He already had the one that Claire had given him for his birthday. He could slap himself for being so stupid. He walked on through, but he didn't walk through the door. He had seen a folder on a table. He started to read it.**

**Jill moved the dresser, pulling it to the side. She raised her berretta and walked down the hall. She walked around a corner, and found **_**another **_**bowl of curry. She tried to take it, but she had no room left in her side pack. She cursed. She turned around, and screamed again. It was another curry lover. "I HAVE CURRY! DON'T RAPE ME!" She quickly pulled the trigger, making its brains go all over the wall and made it look like a fucked up curry. She quickly ran past, and walked to the other door. It was locked. She looked behind herself to make sure it was clear of all curry lovers and started to lock pick.**

**Chris yelled, holding his eyes. He had gone downstairs, through another door, through another and down 2 halls, down to the area he was in now. "Oh I'm so sorry!" The voice said. "I'm Rebecca from BRAVO team. I lost my curry ages ago." Chris was delighted. "I'm Chris. I'm from ALPHA team!" Chris said. She quickly cleaned out his eyes. She had sprayed his eyes with something. "By the way, what was in that spray?**

**Just some insect repellent" She said. "By the way Chris, how did you get so big?**

**Are you talking about my penis size or my shiny, mus-cles?" Rebecca was also a doctor of sorts; she always checked everybody out to make sure they were fine. Chris walked over to a bed and sat down. Chris was about to pull his fly down when some curry lovers against the door. He quickly pulled his fly back up and removed his handgun. Rebecca was hiding in a corner. "Ok, Rebecca, I'm going to find some more survivors. Can you have a look through the item box for something useful?**

**Sure!" Chris walked to the door, and opened it. But *insert strange hand movement here* only slightly. Then he fully opened it. He stepped out (But first made sure to save his curry on the curry type writer) He walked out, shooting the curry fanatic in the head. His blood went all over the wall. Chris walked out, and saw some stairs. He walked up them. He reached the top and did a full sweep. Nobody was in the same area. He walked to the left, and tried the 2 doors. One was locked with those dam key things, and the other had a key pad lock. He cursed to himself, and turned around. He walked down that hall, and tried the first door. It was locked. He screamed this time in rage, smashing his foot against it. Once his rage had faded, then he tried the next door. He tried to open it, and jumped for joy when it opened. He walked through, checking his berretta.**

**Jill pushed another dresser, smiling as she found a handgun clip. **_**Well, if they have ammo, they have guns. If that's the case, this may be too big for the STARS to handle. Hehe, BIG! **_**Jill, when she was bored, let her mind wander. To anything. Even if it was dirty. She walked down the hall-**

**And the window just in front of her smashed open, the skinned dog flying through. Jill ran forwards, not noticing that she was screaming. When she was almost at the door, another dog burst through the window behind her. Without looking back, she smashed through the door and slammed it shut, falling on her backside. She was panting, but she still managed to stand up. She saw a door on her right, and she opened it. She was back outside, and she didn't want to become those dogs next curry meal. She walked back inside, passing a toilet along the way. She soon reached another door. She walked inside, and looked up. It was a single area, but it was large and the celling was decorated. **_**Wow, these curry maniacs must be loaded! Maybe they might give me some! **_**Jill thought. She smiled at that. Then she could get her father out of prison. She walked into another room. This was also filled with 3 curry maniacs, but Jill saw something worth wasting ammo for. A shotgun! She carefully took aim, and fired. The first, the closest went down. Then she ran at the table, running over it and grabbed the shotgun. Then, something strange happened. A part of the wall went down, and revealed a hundred curry bowls! She walked over to them, and then the wall started to shake. She ran at the door, and when she got there, the curry bowls started pouring out of the wall! She was in total shock, and quickly opened the door and shut it. Then she was faced with another problem. The celling was falling! She quickly tried the door to the curry room, but it was locked! She ran over to the other one, and this was also locked. She started to scream. "BARRY! CHRIS! WEKSER! HELP!" she was continually smashing against the door. "JILL! IS THAT YOU!" She heard Barry yell. "BARRY HELP, QUICK!**

**OK JILL, I'M 'GUNNA SMASH THIS DOOR DOWN! CURRY…. STRIKE!" and the door smashed open, and he pulled Jill out. She felt the air of the celling crashing into the floor. It came to a halt with a massive 'bang'. "Thanks Barry.**

**Phew" He said. "That was a close on. A few more seconds and you would have been a Jivvle curry!**

**Ha-ha, your right!" She said, standing. "But Barry, I mean, I'm grateful, but didn't you say you were going back to the dining hall to eat-I mean to research how that butter chicken got there?**

**Yeah, but I had something I wanted to check. Ok, let's get back to looking for that curry- I mean the lost captain and Chris shall we?" Barry turned around and walked back in the dining hall area. Jill looked at her shotgun, and then the direction Barry went. Something was going on; and it wasn't some dammed off curry either.**

**Barry sighed. He was scared, upset and most of all, angry. He recalled the events of what had just happened, before he heard Jill screaming for help. **

**He was walking around the dining hall, finishing up the last bowl of curry. He was walking back to the main hall; he had found some grenade rounds inside a vase and wanted to give them to Jill, since all she had was a handgun. But when he looked around, he saw the other blue door open and close! He quickly ran after the person, and when he got in, he felt something wet and sticky press against his back. "Well, Barry! How nice to see you" Wesker said. Barry turned around, and saw that it was only his hand. It was covered in blood. "Wesker, sir! What happened!" Barry asked. Wesker seemed to ignore him. "Well Barry, you see, I'm in a bit of a tight spot. I work for umbrella. Namely, the division that controls viral weaponry. This is called white umbrella. Now, you see, there was an accident. An uncontrollable virus has broken loose. Don't worry, it's no longer air born. But, I have my own mission to complete. You see, I need to get to the lab on the other side of this mansions garden, but to get there, the door is locked. Now, what I need you to do is to get the keys for me! There are 4 in total. Here is the first one" Wesker handed Barry a key, or more importantly, a a emblem with a picture of a sun with a face. "Now, I know you will do this. Because if you don't, I won't hesitate to kill your family" Wesker said, turning around. "And if you see Chris or Jill, don't tell them about this; I will know. Just get them to look for the other keys" And that was it; Wesker walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Barry. He slammed his fist into the wall. He was helpless; he could live without honour and friends, but he couldn't-wouldn't- live without his family. He screamed in rage and walked through the door in front of him, taking the time to blast 2 dogs to hell.**

**Chris walked into a room under a flight of stairs. He was stunned at its simplicity. He could also hear some smooth, almost angle like music playing in the room. He tried to find the music box but failed. He saw a big brown box that looked allot like the item box that he had left with Rebecca. He yelled in joy when he saw a few handgun clips, and the rest was filled with every type of curry imaginable; lamb Rogan josh, butter chicken, green curry. He took one piece of ammo and the rest of his pouch with curry. He left the rest of it for Jill and Barry; namely the green curry for Barry and the lamb Rogan josh for Jill. He smiled, doing a quick type on the typewriter, on his location and room. Then he walked out, and looked around. He walked up the stairs and walked to the left, and then he tried the first door. It was locked; but instead of screaming, he just fired at the lock. He smiled when the door then opened. He walked inside and saw 2 doors. He walked to the left again and walked inside. It was a standard room. It had 2 beds and a small, bedside table at the top at the far end. He walked in between and smiled, finding another hand gun clip. He also found a red flower. He thought it looked nice, so he kept it. He walked back out and went into the next room. This was not as normal as the last room, but still, it was a nice change to not see a curry fanatic in the room. He started walking around, and found some more papers. He decided to go back and check on Rebecca.**

**Rebecca was having fun. She had just cleaned up her mess; liquids and everything. She wiped away some sweat. She then started to read once more. But what she had seen before had shocked her. It was on viral weaponry; namely, a thing called the curry virus. It made people into curry fanatics, which would explain all the curry being taken away in Raccoon City. She sat down on the bed, and then she heard it starting to open. She quickly grabbed her bottle of insect repellent, but she was determined not to spray it until she knew if it was a curry fanatic. She saw a handgun poke through and knew it was a STARS member. She quickly dropped it, pulling the door open, staring straight into Chris's eyes. She smiled and let him in. "Find anything Rebecca?**

**Yes, I did. All of the people who are infected; it's because of a virus. It's called the curry virus, and it turns people into curry fanatics.**

**And that would explain all the curry being taken!" Chris exclaimed. "Ok Rebecca, we have to start looking for the other STARS members; no matter the cost. So, let's find you a half decent weapon and get outa here!" Rebecca nodded at him. He know knew how to open locked doors, so he wanted to check around upstairs. They quickly made their way to the second floor balcony.**

**Jill was under a flight of stairs, and found some herbicide. She decided to take it along with her, in case she found some plant that wanted her curry. She was still trying to figure out why Barry didn't decide to look with her, but then again, she thought that it would be better if they went separate. She took some handgun bullets and curry (there was a note, left by Chris in the typewriter on the room and location, so she assumed he had left it for her) and then she decided to leave. She walked through the halls, going into every open door. Then she found another locked door. She checked both ways and started to lock pick. She smiled when it gave way. She walked inside, and saw 2 statues, a button and a cabinet at the back. She just kicked the glass in, removing the emblem. She didn't know what it belonged to, but she had a decent idea. She had seen a door that led to the outside; it was a likely bet that the curry fanatics had locked the next door. She smiled, and started to run back. She quickly made her way, and saw that 2 of the missing emblems were already in place! She smiled, put the 3****rd**** in and saw that only one more was missing. She smiled and ran back inside, and was going to try all of the doors.**

**Wesker smiled, pleased at how well Barry was finding one more emblem. He had no idea where the last one was. He knew that Jill had found one; he had taken the trouble to get the one out of the art room. Now he was waiting on Chris. He checked his handgun; it was especially made by umbrella to take .357 rounds, even though it looked like every other gun the STARS had. He smiled and started walking around; he wanted to find Barry again.**

**Chris walked around with Rebecca, still feeling a bit pale over what they had just done and found. Some curry fanatics had got forest; so they took his gun and gave it to Rebecca. Now they were back in the long red hall. Chris shot the lock on the first door they came to, and walked inside. Rebecca gasped and ran, Chris just looking stunned. It was another BRAVO, but Chris couldn't tell who. "Rebecca, I'm going to look around; make sure he makes it." Rebecca nodded again, and Chris started towards the door. He quickly opened it and sighed. **_**These curry fanatics are really starting to piss me off! **_**Chris thought. He walked up small flight of stairs, shooting the lock again. He put some spare bullets into his gun and walked through. Chris was stunned at the simplicity of the attic. He walked forwards, and saw something and ran forwards. He smiled and grabbed it, then jumped backwards. He screamed silently, as a massive curry snake crawled out at him! He ran back out and slammed the door shut. He started to pant. His hands were bright red and sweaty. He walked down the stairs, pretty shaken up. He walked to Rebecca, who was crying. "He's dead" She said. "Ok, I have a key. Let's go" Chris said, helping her up. They walked back to the stairs, walked down, and walked through another door. Then they turned right and found a steel door. "This must be where all the key goes; I've already checked everywhere else" Chris said. He opened the door and walked through. He was stunned when he found the key slot with 3 emblem keys already put into place. He smiled and put the last emblem in, hearing a massive metal click. He opened the door and walked through, Rebecca following close behind.**

**Jill heard a massive click throughout the whole house, and her heart skipped a beat when she thought that maybe the door had opened. She ran at full speed back, and saw that the door was open! She didn't want to get her hopes up that a curry maniac had done a trap, but still, she didn't care. She laughed when she saw that the door was open. She walked through and started to collect her thoughts and breathe.**

**Barry saw Jill run through the door and smiled. Now Wesker could get to the labs and Barry's family would be safe. He followed in pursuit.**


End file.
